Cat Scratch Fever

Today I’m feeling just disconnected and at sea. Disability attorneys. Paperwork. CASDI. Doctor’s reports. Forms. SSDI. Health insurance. More forms. More paperwork. And really, what the hell do I know about hiring attorneys and filling out government forms? I probably shouldn’t say this out loud, but it is b-o-r-i-n-g, to say the least. And extremely overwhelming, too. Blech.

Overseeing this endless computer drudge are Cleo and Clark. Now Clark likes to sit on my lap and look fabulous while I’m trying to type. Cleo on other hand, is a scrappy, bitter hag of a cat. She does this spooky staring thing that just creeps me out. She meows really loudly and persistently. If you try to touch her however, she hisses, growls, spits, scratches and basically is just one old grumpy gal. Considering she’s pushing 17 or so (what’s that in cat years, like 300?) I imagine I’d feel pretty bitter too.

One day she was boring holes into the back of my head when I was making bread using a mixer. I became so frazzled that I lifted the paddle out of the mixer while it was still powered on and bread dough went flying all over the kitchen ~ floors, ceiling, counters, cabinets.  This made me more than a little nuts, so I threw her outside where she proceeded to ensconce herself  on the doorstep of the glass paned door and STARE at me some more. I closed the shade and considered a shot of scotch. This cat unnerves me!

Cleo adores Kate. Whenever she comes to visit that cat is the nicest, sweetest little kitty you’ve ever met. I keep trying to get Kate to take her back to California which she declines to do, because I think deep down, my friend knows she really is possessed by demons.

And the Verdict Is In……

Well I got some good news today. Turns out that despite the MS diagnosis, the baclofen, the 3 day naps, the walker, the hirple, the walking stick, the solu-medrol infusion, the hand numbness, the scooter, the endless Dr appointments, the tripping, and the exhaustion, according to the US government I am not disabled after all. Whew! What a relief!

In spite of receiving this happy missive this morning in the mail, it prompted somewhat of a mini-melt down on my part. Fair enough, I think. There went Plan A out the window and for the first time I felt hopeless, frustrated and quite frankly, afraid. Egad, now what!?

I will sort this out. It will take time, patience, perseverance, smarts and not a little cunning. I need to let the state of Arizona know ~ maybe they’ll take me off their disabled list since Uncle Sam says it isn’t so? A little unemployment aid would come in handy right now….

In the meantime, now that I am able, I think I am going to go for a run. Or wait….maybe just a hirple with my walker instead.

Plan B

My brother Dave called me the other night. He’d been reading my blog and was alarmed on my behalf that I have no income. Rightly so. I’m a little bit alarmed too. Unfortunately, when he called, I was suffering from some back pain ~ apparently I pulled a muscle while sleeping. Really? How the hell does that happen? I am totally down (albeit really bored) with having MS, but back pain? No way.  Although the pain is now mostly gone (it’s easing it’s way down my leg and out my toes), it has left me a little grumpy.

Now Dave was asking me if I have a Plan B. That got me thinking, do I even have a working Plan A? I suppose it is to get approved for Federal SS disability and work part time marketing produce (which I’m finding I really enjoy), consulting with my brother-in-law on his fishing websites, the occasional wedding with Anna, and of course, the ever profitable cow headbands.

Plan B. Finding, falling and marrying a rich rancher. Winning the lottery. Discovering uranium under my floorboards. Actually Plan B looks pretty much like Plan A, only more of it. Work. Work. Work. I’ll get my piece of that 50 trillion dollars Dave, don’t you worry.

Egad – Health Care…..

I am not very politically inclined and this is certainly not a political blog. However, being unemployed and conceivably uninsured within months, I feel my poor chewed fingernails are due some explanation as to why they are getting so much attention lately.

Looks like Arizona is disinclined to give me any unemployment benefits due to my disability classification (except I have not been officially classified yet).  The Feds are pondering my medical reports and will advise me of my SSD status by Feb. 13. I’m in Limboville right now, and will keep you posted.

My dear friend Nicole, who lives in Nashville, has been diagnosed with MS for 5 years. You would be hard pressed to find a more positive, sunny and hardworking person than her. She has been betrayed by the system over and over, and still doesn’t complain. She just wants to see things righted, and she wants some help.

The health care bill no doubt has lots wrong with it, and many ramifications to small business owners, taxpayers and others. I don’t purport to have any understanding of it at all, really. Two things stand out though, that are like beacons of hope to those of us who have a chronic illness, are self employed or unemployed, and single. The bill offers us 1) guaranteed insurance of some sort and 2) exemption from pre-existing conditions bias. Remember that Elizabeth is a Type 1 diabetic, so this super important to her as well.

When my COBRA runs out, and if I’m not yet approved for federal disability health care, my fingernails are going to be giving tips to my knuckles on how to survive. I don’t even like typing this and putting it out there, but it is a reality. I hope for my sake, Nicole’s sake, Elizabeth’s sake and all our sakes that this issue gets sorted out one way or another so that this great country of ours can live up to it’s tenets of brotherhood and love. We don’t want a hand out, we just want a hand to help us.

Tennesseans voice concern about possible health reform repeal