It’s All Right: Quasimodo, Crowns, Ito and Whirlygigs

I’m not gonna lie. This has been one hell of a year. My switch to a new MS med last year has not really panned out as I’d hoped, and the right side of my head has taken a beating like you can’t believe.

It started when I woke up one morning knowing something was just off with my face. I managed to get in to see my doc and he assured me everything was ok despite the weird feeling I was having. Maybe, though, I should get a shingles shot. We decided that was a good plan.

Fast forward 12 hours and I’m in the ER with the right side of my face on fire, my eye swelling shut, looking like Quasimodo, and having a bad case of…shingles.

Son of a gun does it hurt! I look like a leper. I am really an eye sore to behold, an eye sore in reality, and just flat out miserable.

Once I can go out in public again, I head to my dentist. A mouthful of ancient fillings, in my late 50’s, they gotta go. ‘We’ll just pop in a few overlays’, he speculates on that right side, top and bottom. Nope. Four crowns, 1 root canal, the cost of an overnight suite at Grand Peninsula Hotel in Hong Kong and MY MOUTH IS KILLING ME.

So I spend some time laying low, snacking on Ibuprofen and binge watching Game of Thrones with Anna. On this one night in April, I discovered I have this neat trick I do when I stand up ~ I sort of pivot and twirl. You know by now I have MS, right? So of course I lose my balance and crack the right side of my head on the hearth.

This gives me a shiner that was so big I named it: Ito. For weeks I color coordinated my wardrobe to match the bruise and wore eyeshadow on the left eye to tone the look down.

By June, thankfully everything has calmed down except for my jaw from the crowns. Then last week as I was laying on the floor doing some stretching, I turned over (on to my…wait for it…right side) and BAM suddenly I am hurtling through space as a human whirlygig ~ aaaggghhhh Mr.Wizard! Make it STOP!

Son of a bitch, now I have vertigo. A wise friend suggested the chiropractor who was ever so helpful. And while he was doing his thing, he says “wow! is your jaw ever out of alignment on the right side!”

As of today, I am able to turn over, bite down, and see out of my eyes all with minimal scarring. Two things though: 1) listen to my mother who warned me time and again and go get a shingles shot and 2) if next time you see me I’m wearing a safety mask, you’ll know why. My left side is nervous.