Bladder Blog #2 ~ Pins and Needles

So we left me in San Diego with my sister playing with catheters. I know you’re dying to know what is next, and as promised, here we go. Again: be forewarned. This is an awkward topic and I’m telling it like it happened and it gets a little gnarly.

So Dr. G comes in on my next visit (I’m going to say this is in early  2006 or so) and virtually sings out, “We’ve got options!”. Imagine my anticipation and delight if you can. He goes on to explain a new clinical trial he is heading whereby people who suffer from incontinence due to neurological issues or spinal injuries can partake of injections of Botox into their bladder.

Hmmmm. Let’s think on this a minute. Go ahead and let your imagination run free….no matter how you spin it you’re going to come up with pretty much exactly what is going happen. Well by now, I’m a total pro at the catheter thing, so how bad can this be? The end result means I might be able to wear a thong again, so it will be so worth it. Right?

Let’s do it. I sign on and have an ultrasound done, sign some paperwork and fill out a lengthy questionnaire. Due to incontinence am I depressed? Embarrassed? Hindered in daily activity? Concerned about catheterizing all the time? Well geez, I wasn’t until they brought it up!

I schedule the appointment for the procedure and take Anna with me (the girls take turns with who goes with me). They insert lots of various tubes in various openings and then douse some of those openings with Lidocaine to numb them. Then Dr. G comes in and inserts a camera (by which he informs me I can watch the progress of the events as they are happening on a monitor nearby. Um, no thanks.) Without being too much more graphic (although I DID warn you) I am injected multiple times in my bladder with the Botox.

According to Dr. G, 99% of the patients in the trial feel minimum discomfort. Need I tell you what percentage I fell into? I actually went into a little bit of shock. Shivering, crying, wobbly, that kind of thing. It didn’t last long though and there was no lingering discomfort, so off we went.

What follows is urinary bliss. People who don’t suffer from anything related to going #1 take it so for granted, as did I for years. Why would you not? We’ve all be peeing since birth (although in a diaper I might add…I’m just sayin’) and it’s a natural no-brainer. All of a sudden within days I was back like a semi-normal person, no longer like one of those people in the TV commercials whose whole life revolves around running from bathroom to bathroom.

Per the clinical trial expectations, the Botox is supposed to help for 6-9 months. Fortunately for me, I also feel into the 1% and mine lasted for 16 months. Damn good thing too, because I dread going back (I’m headed to California next month for my 4th treatment). I will be taking a thong to wear home though.

That’s the end of installment #2 of the Bladder Blog. Next is when I take it on local TV (come on, you didn’t really think I had one shred of dignity left, did you?). Stay tuned (pun intended).

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